Finding hope in the dead of winter
Written by; Acacia McLean
Snow blankets the rolling hills for as far as the eye can see surrounding our farm. All living plants and trees are dormant or dead. Wildlife has hunkered down as the storms roll in and out. It’s cold, freezing, well below freezing. The clouds cover the sky in grey as the snow falls for hours. The sun shines without a cloud in the sky, making the snow sparkle like a million diamonds. Ice crystals cover branches and barbed wire fences. I stop and take in this beautiful sight, the silver lining in this long winter. Is this really the only hope we can find in the dead of winter?
Winter can be hard. The days are short and in so many places the sun is clouded. Depending on where you live temperatures fall somewhere between cool, below freezing or a mix. Many people suffer from seasonal awareness disorders. It can be hard to think positively when you look around and all you see is the absence of life.
This last year was our family’s first year as a flower farm. The year was hard, we battled some challenges like all farmers do. These challenges helped guide me to where to put my focus for planning the upcoming farming season. As I stuck my head into books researching through articles and documentaries, I found interesting information about what really happens to our plants during the winter, and this challenged me to look at how seasons of winter both seasonally and metaphorically actually affect me as a human. What is really happening to us during winter seasons?
Naturally our farm purchases for the 2025 growing season started with daffodils and tulips as they are the first to bloom in the spring and they are fall planted bulbs. I discovered how important winter can be to many plants including fall planted bulbs and even some seeds. During the winter when everything looks dead above the soil these bulbs focus their attention on growing their roots strong and deep. These bulbs appear to be dead or dormant, but the daffodils and tulips are some of those that are not. As I planted over 2000 bulbs over a period of a month or more, I accidentally pulled several up that I had already planted when adding more to the beds. I saw for myself the truth of this. There on a bulb I had planted not more than a week or two before were already over a handful of roots growing. The foundation for the life of my bulbs was being laid. These perennial daffodils were growing strong.
Is the foundation of our house not one of the most important? What we place as the foundation we choose to build our life on plays a huge role in the outcome of our future and development on ourselves. Foundations are clearly important and the roots we grow are the foundations of our plants and our lives. Short roots don’t set a plant up for much success. They don’t hold up to the storms, the droughts, nor can they support the weight of themselves if they grow larger than their own roots can hold. The plants that are deeply rooted in the ground are much more resilient. Those deeply rooted plants can handle droughts as they are closer to the water sources. They have the underground foundation to support the weight and height of a growing plant. A plant with short roots does not have the advantage of that of a deeply rooted plant. When these bulbs appeared to be dead, they are actually spending a lot of time setting themselves up for a successful spring.
Without this winter period of cold and the death of the flowers and foliage above ground they would not be able to focus on growing their roots. Just as a mom who is pulled between several kids, work and home life. This woman is drained, exhausted and not running at full capacity. She is not able to be her best self when she is spread thin in her life.
When a plant is trying to focus on both growing beautiful flowers and foliage and also establishing its roots it’s depleting its resources much quicker. During this time the plant is spread thin, drained, exhausted and not running at its full capacity. This plant is unable to focus fully on making strong deep roots while also creating a beautiful display for us to enjoy. This is part of why perennial flowering plants usually don’t flower in their first year, allowing them to focus on establishing their roots.
Plants have seasons but during the growing seasons for that plant there are no periods of rest. Can you imagine if for the entire months of spring and summer you were not able to go to bed at night? A good night’s rest sets us up for success or failure. The rest you have the night before can change the whole direction of your day. That’s how it is for these plants. So instead, they “rest” during the winter in addition to whatever other seasons they may not be growing. During that period of rest, they are actually growing the most.
When the first hard frost hit our farm in the fall my youngest child and I walked out to examine the damage. “The flowers are dead” she exclaimed, and tears began to roll down her cheeks breaking into a full-blown crying. She didn’t expect this, being a toddler who hadn’t noticed the seasons to this extent before this was a huge, unexpected loss. The flowers were “droopy”, they were “sad”, they were “dead”. She had been so excited about the first snowfall of the year she didn’t comprehend that meant the end of the growing season. In a second her mood changed. I tried to explain to her this was the process of the flowers growing cycles and the seasons. Telling her that we would have so many more flowers next spring. She couldn’t hear me. A toddler, unable to understand what I was saying. This was too much for her to understand and truly it did not matter to her. She wanted the flowers now! Watching her in her innocent youth process this great sadness It was hard to not tear up myself.
I had got used to the joy of bouquets of flowers throughout my home brought not only me and my family. That something so simple could cheer up our day more than I realized. I grew up low income and never had the luxury of buying flowers for myself or my home. This loss would be hard. These flowers had been my purpose for over half the year. I babied them from seeds to seedling transplant and now death. I wasn’t expecting this to hurt this much. It was odd…as someone who really had not gardened before it hit me in a such a sentimental way. I needed to find something to inspire us and bring hope and happiness through this long Wyoming winter.
With our short growing season and the extreme cold and harshness of our winters it was going to be a long winter. We needed to focus on growing our roots strong and deep so that in the upcoming spring we could have the foundation and energy to put on a beautiful display. Without the death of my plants, I would not have had the time or energy I needed to put into planning a successful crop and farm for the following spring. Without the end of the growing season, I would have been pulled in two keeping currant crops alive while planning the next year. This was a much-needed break. Although it came with sadness and loss. Luckily our winters were long. I had a plan!
Several months later we were wrapping up the winter clean up and continuing to plan our beds for the upcoming spring. Feet of snow covered the majority of our farmland, and my daughter begged to go out to plant some flowers. My husband and I tried explaining to her we could not. She had overheard us planning the flower beds, discussing seeds we still needed to purchase and ones that we needed too winter sow. She had misunderstood that it was time to plant flowers. In her mind these flowers she wanted to plant were not the seeds we were discussing. Our daughter wanted established flower transplants to plant. She did not understand that it takes time to grow. At times as adults we don’t understand this either. We want it and we want it instantly. Not knowing that when things are rushed, they don’t ever hold up to those that are grown over time.
2024 We had a rough growing season. Although our early spring crops had succeeded, where we had planned to sell them did not line up with the bloom schedule nor the timeline of the farmers market opening. Our limited mid spring crops had failed due to the temperatures warming up quicker than average and those crops went dormant days before they were supposed to bloom. We lost all those. Last frost fell later than average making our growing season even shorter than the short season Wyoming already offers. Our family got very sick in June and transplants got in the ground even later. It seems as if everything was against us.
We tried to come up with other things to sell while we waited for our crops and waited. Just as our crops would almost be ready for harvest deer raided them overnight. Luckily a lot of our flowers were cut and come again and would recover….in time. We waited longer. It was hard to wait. It was discouraging and just like our toddler daughter we wanted them now!
When we finally got crops wildfires threatened the areas surrounding our farm. Our Family had to evacuate our home overnight. Leaving our flowers in the hands of God. Not knowing if we would be coming home to a house or a burnt mess. When in the following days the wind luckily changed directions, pushing the fires away from our home and land. A huge blessing!
Although our crops and home survived the smoke was thick for weeks. With our families underlining health conditions combined with high levels of smoke, again we fell sick. Delaying the time, we could spend watering and harvesting. Causing the plants again to take a hit. The weeds invaded as we were able to spend limited time in the smoke. The farmer’s market was coming to an end and frost loomed. At the end of the season all we had sold was a few bouquets. The thousands of dollars and hours we had spent on our crops did not pay for themselves. Year one was a loss. The things that are the best are those worth waiting for, aren’t they? I wasn’t so sure. I tried to encourage myself that there were opportunities to grow and learn from this season, but it was hard to stay positive.
The resilient people we are. Instead of giving up we decided to keep pushing forward. This is part of farming, it’s full of unknows and many things you can’t control. If we stopped now because of things we knew from the start would continue to be up against for the entire duration of our farming career, it wouldn’t make sense. Farmers must be resilient. Someone must grow the food that feeds us all.
This first year was a hard year but instead of letting the death of the growing season and the challenges we face kill our business. My husband and I made a choice, deciding to let the winter be a time for us to reflect on the past. We would learn from this growing season, investing in growing our skills, knowledge, resources, and our roots. Making this choice would allow us to have a better chance at a more successful spring, summer and fall.
Statistically 20.4% of businesses failed in the first year. 49.4% of businesses fail in the first five years. 65.3% of them fail in the first 10 years. Approximately 25% of businesses make it to 15 years or more. On top of everything else we were up against this year the odds of our business succeeding were not in our favor.
When I became a teen mom, I was up against many statistics. I knew those statistics were not in my favor. I made myself a promise “I was not going to be a statistic”. Looking back now as a 30-year-old women I can’t count how many times I worked hard, REALLY HARD and was able to defy the odds that were against me. As I reflected on the struggles we had faced as a family and a business in not only the last year but in my lifetime and marriage I reminded myself again; “I was not going to be a statistic!”. Hard work continued.
As in nature resources during the winter months are limited. Food, shelter and even water (its frozen) are all limited. Wildlife has a lot its up against during this season. The wild animals can choose to be resilient and push through the difficult times or they can choose to give up resulting in their deaths.
For our family resources were also very limited. Money was tight, our prior year did not go well. The profits we hoped to have from businesses to fund the next year were nonexistent. We could choose to let this stop us or we could choose to be resilient and use what resources we did have to grow as much as possible. The latter is what we chose. Making sacrifices to stretch our resources.
This last week we sat down in the dead of winter to look over our plans and determine what else still needs to be done. I am shocked by the number of seeds my husband and I count that we already have. According to our numbers we have the number of seeds to produce more plants for this spring alone than we could have produced during the entire last growing season multiplied by well more than 10 times. Based on the number of total plants we had all last growing season.
Winter of this new year (2025) has already been hard. Our family has been sick more than we have been well and everyday our resources drain. We are up against numerous challenges both existing and new. Theres so many reasons to be hopeless right now. I just cannot see how this is going to work out. Dreaming of the vacation we cannot afford to take during our only off season is difficult to avoid. I have a choice to focus on the daydreams, distractions and the negative or I can choose to focus on growing my “roots” deeper and stronger. I can choose to continue to focus on building the foundation of our business. researching, planning, and preparing. I can use my time and energy to plan beds, plant seeds, and care for seedlings. Keep myself on task working towards completing my goals in a timely manner. Working hard to reach our planting deadlines. This will lead us to a greater success rate.
It’s hard, there’s so many unknows. What if the frost dates don’t align with our estimates? What if we can’t afford the rest of the list of supplies and plants? What if we don’t make money off this again? What if we took on too many plants this year? What if? what if? what if……. The list of unknows is endless. We know what Gods put on our heart to do, we have faith but we still question.
When I think about nature, the flowers and wildlife seem to flow through the seasons so calm compared to us humans. We are so anxious over every detail and unknown. The flowers are not worrying about when the frost dates are or if they will bloom too soon or too late. They just bloom when they bloom and sometimes, they do so at the right time and sometimes they don’t. No matter when life still moves on, nature still runs its course, and the world doesn’t end because one daffodil didn’t bloom on “schedule”. That one late daffodil stands out and gives an extended season display. Giving hope and happiness. Flowers don’t worry about how they measure up to those surrounding them. Wildlife doesn’t worry about how they are going to feed their children; they just go through the motions of life. This is what God calls us to do yet it’s so difficult for us to give up the fears and lay them down. We let fear stop us in our tracks or at least allow us to procrastinate.
If I spend the time I have for rest and growth during this winter worrying, distracted by things that won’t help me reach my goal, I won’t have the roots I need. I won’t be able to provide the amazing crop I could this upcoming growing season. In the dead of this winter season choose to see the silver lining, the icicle diamonds that glitter on the snow. Choose to use this time of dormancy to grow your roots too. Reflect on what your goals are and how you can achieve them. Though depending on where you live your spring may be closer than ours, winter is not over yet. You still have time to use this winter to grow more than you could ever know so you too can bloom strongly this spring.
© Copyright Acacia McLean 2025